I am getting dangerously close to the big 40. This year, I will have 4 decades of living and learning under my belt.
When I was a teenager, I distinctly remember thinking that 40-year-olds seemed to have their lives in order. Why do I still feel clueless all of the time? There are sooo many things that I need to learn in order to do the things I want to do.
I was more confident in what I was doing when I was in my 20's than I am now. In hindsight, it was defiant and unsubstantiated confidence, but as a young person, I rarely had doubts. I was bold and fearless and ready for anything. I never considered the possibility that I wasn't prepared or equipped to take on anything that I set my mind to.
These days, I feel as if my heart if full of doubt surrounding so many things. Despite clear instructions from The Lord that I should be fearless, fear is something that I have realized in my late 30's. Fear that I am not capable of executing the big dreams that He gives me. Fear for the demise of a conservative agrarian society, fear for the reality that my children are growing up in and will be raising their children in, fear that I am not handling parenting, marriage, friendship, family, and this one chance at life, very well. Fear of what other's will think of us proclaiming that we can offer advice to others, with the very obvious lack of "having it together" that I feel.
Yet, here we are, creating an organization and a life around this mission to mentor others in their journey as we learn and grow together as a family. As someone who values humility, I feel imposter syndrome and don't want judgement for being a "know it all", but God gave me the deep desire to share His love by encouraging others. I am notoriously the person who sees the good in everyone and overlooks the bad until it is too late.
So, I'm doing it scared. With all of my imperfections and full of uncertainty. I know in my heart that I was made for this thing that He is calling us to do. We all have gifts and I think that my calling is to help others to see their gifts and to encourage them to continue to grow and learn beyond what they think they are capable of.
I believe that most people never reach their God given potential because they are afraid to dream big. We limit ourselves because we don't truly believe we are capable of accomplishing big things. It comes down to fear most of the time and fear is something we have to overcome. I can not say that I have accomplished this myself by any means, but I do know that having someone to remind me of this is a huge encouragement.
To anyone who has taken the time to read this post, is there someone in your life you can encourage? We all have so many insecurities. Let us make a difference in the life of a brother or sister by pointing out their strengths. Focus on the good and the good will grow.
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